Missing Buddy

I haven't heard from you for quite a long time now.. for almost a year actually. I've sent you text messages and emails, called you on your mobile, posted testimonies and comments, signed in your guest books and visited your sites. I've been trying to reach you for the longest time but to no avail... Sounds pathetic, I know. Maybe to some, pitiable.I’ve actually asked myself if I did something wrong… something that made you angry or pushed you away. But I learned that I am not the only one looking for you.

I remember you telling me several months back that we were actually in the same phase, looking for a way to break free, wanting some time and space away from the chaotic and crazy world. You told me that if I need it, I should try to get it. I was happy to hear that from you, knowing that you supported me and you understood my situation. I knew that you’ll be out of touch, too. You’ve been doing that for a few months already and I was indeed having a hard time getting in touch with you during those days. I’d thought you were being evasive because you just needed your ‘moments’.

But months passed by and you were still hiding until I was no longer able to pin you down. I came back from my very long vacation cum retreat a.k.a. escape and I didn’t hear anything from you. You didn’t even greet me on my birthday. I left and you didn’t say goodbye. You didn’t greet me happy holidays or merry Christmas or happy new year.I may not have the right to ask all of this from you, I know. I’m just someone who terribly misses the person I once knew so well… I miss the endless hours of chatting about basically everything and sometimes nothing. I miss the days when I would do everything to avoid you ‘cause we’ve been together 24x7 and I can no longer stand being with the all-knowing and too-good-to-be-true you. I miss your advises and your critical remarks. I miss drinking beer when you’re just drinking juice or water. I miss your stories, especially the funny ones. I miss debating with you. I miss discussing faith and fate with you. I miss wondering about the future and wandering the dangerous streets with you. I could say that I miss your silence, your weapon. But your silence now is killing me.

I don’t know what got into me and I suddenly became so schmaltzy. Maybe I just miss all the people who used to be around me all the time and you just happened to be one of them. Hah! Unlucky you. I know you’ve changed and it’s hard to change back, maybe. But then, you should know, my tears are falling because I’m missing the person you used to be.

So come on, Batman. Get out of your bat cave. At least show the Joker some face. We are still who we are for all you know...