well well well...

These past few months, i've been quite let say, unwell. I've been struggling over some things that are way too much for my own strength. Been so devastated, broken, torn into pieces, confused, bothered, worried, angry, hurt, yeah.. sooooo UNWELL.

Though God was leading me on the right path, i was so stubborn to listen. So full of pride that i thought i could make everything right and that i don't need anybody to help me, even Him. His words were everywhere. He used so many people to make me realize the wrong doings that i had. And yet, i was still so conceited to obey.

Then BAM! Another pounding, and so i said. "Ok, Lord. I'll do it." But no, i broke my promise. Once, twice, thrice.. too many times. The flesh was ruling over me. The sinful nature was too strong, the Spirit became too weak. So once again, another hit, another slap, smash, BAM! BOG! BLAG! TOINK! Haay, why did i allow myself to undergo a lot of pounding before giving in..

Now, i know what to do. And I have started it. I'm letting go of my idols in life. May the Lord just be with me always in this very difficult task. Godhelp.